The Way Children See Things!
Honesty
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile. “We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
Dress-up!
A little girl was watching her parents dress up for a party. When she saw her dad donning a tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.” “And why not darling?” You know that gives you a headache the next morning.”
Opinions
On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by these children are not necessarily those of his parents
Ketchup
A mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year old daughter to answer the phone. “It's the minister, Mommy”, the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.”
Elderly
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year old daughter on my rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this”.
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Y'all Come Back Now!
A lady was out traveling in the U.S. in her RV and stopped to pick up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13 TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks." In a business like tone , a voice boomed back over the intercom: "DO YOU WANT THE KIND THAT PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
Driving a Class A
Two elderly RV - ing women were out driving in a class A. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, " I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again they went right through it. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough the light was definitely red and they went right through it again.
She turned to the other woman and said, " Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row!!! You could have killed us."
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
